The Serbian Connection is the fourteenth mission in San Andreas Connection.
"Anything good on, cousin?" Niko asks. Roman's eyes are glued to the screen but he quickly snaps out of the trance after hearing Niko.
"Errr yeah yeah... been an interesting night for news." Roman replies, reaching for the remote to turn down the TV's volume.
"What's going on, another terrorist threat in Liberty?" Niko asks, digging through the fridge for food.
"Not that, no. Ugh, fuck it - Cousin, did you break into the Weazel News building?!?" Roman nervously as Niko. Niko looks up from the fridge with a can of Sprunk.
"Do you want me to lie, or do you want the truth?" Niko replies, pulling the tab on the can. "Because either way it's bad."
"So you did do it. You fucking did it! This has your name written all over it man!" Roman says reaching for his bowl of chips.
"Yeah, so? It's like I had any choice in the matter. And what do you care? You're getting free money from it." Niko replies.
"There is no such thing as free lunch cousin. I may not go through the struggles to get the money, and I rarely ask questions, but if you get it hurt then it does cost me."
"Oh please, you'll just miss the little bit of social interaction we get, then you'll move on. That's just how life is."
"What social interaction? We haven't gone bowling since we came to this state, let alone go out to eating or drinking since we got in this damn city!"
"So what, you want me to make it up to you? You want to drinking like old times, huh? Fuck, since I'm in a bad situation now, let's just go play drinking while I'm in a difficult spot, yeah?" Niko replies angrily, placing his can of Sprunk on the dining table.
"Yeah.... no... Well I mean yeah, I'd love to spend time with you, but I want you to be careful! Tell me what's going on! What happened with that guy who has your record?" Roman asks, setting down the bowl of chips. Niko sighs and pulls out a chair from the dining table and takes a seat.
"Okay, so the guy, Lester, who has my files has introduced me to three business associates. Gary Mitnick, aka eHero, who works with Lester just for the money. Gary has shown me the ropes on how their business works, including that job on the news place. Then Lester has me chauffeur some fed named Alan Platterson who is in a tricky situation with the next guy, Alex Vogil-"
"Alex Vogil? The business tycoon? He's corrupt?"
"Yeah, apparently buying out businesses doesn't make enough cash for him. Anyway, Alex and I go to play golf, and he eventually hires me to take out a few of his "friends" - including Alan. I confront Alan, and very stupid of me I let him go. Now I'm waiting to see if Alex finds out and tries to kill me."
"That is a difficult situation. Maybe you need a break, some recreation." Roman replies.
"Why don't we go see some ripe, round American titties? Or go drinking?"
"Shit dude, now is not the time to go drinking. I need to be alert, because we can be fucking killed at any second. I have no idea when Lester is just going to send my information anyway, when I'm not useful anymore.... and then this fucking Alex guy, we're fucked, cousin!"
"Relax...calm down....I know this is fucked, but please, Niko, a drink or two won't hurt!"
"I can't fucking drink right now. I need to just get us out of this bullshit and away from the feds. Ugh, this is like the old country all over again."
"Look - let's just talk this through. What are the possible outcomes to all of this? List them all, cousin, so that we can figure this shit out."
"Okay..." Niko sighs. "Lester Crest, he has my information and threatens to sell it to the government. Alex Vogil, he's got powerful contacts and I'm sure he's going to send his Spark team or whoever the fuck to kill us."
"And? Go on, cousin."
"Then Alan Platterson, but he's not really a threat. Fuck, man, do we have to do this now?"
"Yes, Niko. It's important that we know who we're dealing with, so that we can break through this mess and live free!"
"Don't you see, Roman? It's not as simple as getting what you want, when you want, and "taking over the town". It's about fucking surviving. I thought we could live a simple, free life without this crap, and now it's all come full circle. Moving here was the worst fucking decision we could have made."
"Think, Niko! Who else? Come on man, shake out of it! Be happy!"
"It's not that fucking easy! It's not just a flip of a switch and being happy. I've been fucking relegated to killing and pulling heists, never once living a normal life. The feds are on our ass, I could be jailed at any moment, we've got who knows how many fucking bounty hunters on us, and worst of all, you're back to gambling! How can I just "snap out" of it, cousin? How? I want a fucking explanation."
"Niko...Look, I know this shit is hard on you. Believe me, I know. But we'll find a way out. I know we can. You have me, cousin, never forget that. I'm always here for you if you need me. Now please, for the last father-fucking time, who else do we have on our asses?"
"Well, there's that Gary Mitnick guy, and his "eHero" group...but they're just hackers, they can't fix this shit. Not like this.... we're fucked man. Fucking fucked, and it's my fault for thinking San Andreas was going to be fit for us."
"Well, if they can hack, maybe we can send them to hack this Alex guy, and Lester, and the IAA, right?"
"Oh, really cousin? So a small group of computer nerds have a chance against a publicly funded fucking government agency? Please. And Lester knows about eHero anyway, so we're fucked on that end too! We're fucked on every end and we don't even know it!"
"Get a grip Niko! There IS no "all ends". We can find that last end that hasn't been fucked! And believe me, cousin, like we did in LC, we can get out of this too. Together. You need to relax, and think this through. After this shit blows over, we could leave San Andreas, and be done!"
Niko sighs, and pounds his head. "Maybe you're right. But where would we go anyway? We can't go back to LC, too many bad memories...and the old country's out of the question."
"Well, Bernie, er, Florian, always suggested San Fierro...but he also mentioned the northwest in some cases, maybe he's got some contacts there?"
"Contacts? Are you fucking joking me? Bernie, Florian Cravic, with contacts? Who are these people anyway? Besides, the northwest is too fucking expensive. Think realistically, cousin."
"Well, after that heist it doesn't seem like money's a problem to you, Niko."
"Oh really? So you gambling it away isn't a problem? Think you fucking joker, for one millisecond."
Niko pounds his head again.
"I'll call up Bernie, see if he can get us north of San Fierro. Anywhere out of this state, away from Alex and whoever else there is. I'm telling you cousin, the northwest is like a radio silence zone! We won't be found! Hiding away while the Bellics take over another town again! We could restart the cab business, live legitimately again, be nor-"
"Can we stop fucking talking about the future and just focus on getting out of this shit first? We'll talk northwest later. Just call up Bernie or whoever and at least get the planning ready. We're not out of this yet, cousin."
"Alright Niko. Just take it easy for once. Get some rest, you really need it. How long have you been awake? Have you even slept since you came to LS?"
Niko gets up from his chair, and brushes himself off. "To tell you the truth cousin... I can't say. Anyway, you said you wanted to relax. What do you want to do?"
"Finally, Niko, you're showing the willingness to liven up! Alright - let's go to Tequi-la-la. I think the drink will help you, cousin."
"Alright, alright, we'll go. Just one drink." Niko and Roman leave the apartment and get in the Esperanto.
"So, Niko, what's our plans after you take care of these guys?"
"IF we can take care of these guys. But if we do, then we're leaving LS. San Andreas, everything. Send an email or something to Bernie, you said he has some connections."
"Finally, cousin, I knew you'd come back! I'm emailing him now."
Niko and Roman drive to Tequi-la-la.
"So, how do you like the company cab, cousin?" says Roman.
"Well, it's nice, I guess. I think we could use something more modern though, this thing's terrible with gas mileage."
"True. But I see it as a throwback to our LC days. The bellic cousins, taking over the town, with Express Car Service as our HQ!"
"I try not to think about the past, so thanks for reminding me about our days being chased by the feds. Oh wait, that sounds familiar."
"Come on, man! Think of the good times! We could've had sports cars, condoes, women, money, living on the beach....we had opportunity!"
"Yeah, and don't forget the cockroaches."
"It was a temporary apartment man! We could've had it, we were so close, I just needed to pay off Vlad! But of course, you had to kill him!"
"Oh really? So a Russian shithead threatening to kill you if you call him a "yokel" is someone you want to pay off your debt to? Give me a fucking break."
"Okay...so the guy was a hard ass. That's fine. But you didn't have to kill him! I got shot in the fucking stomach because of you! You don't know how bad that shit hurt, man."
"So this whole argument is based around you getting shot in the fucking stomach? Wow, cool story man. Awesome."
"Be serious for once Niko! I could have fucking died!"
"Alright...you win. Now can we please fucking relax?""
"Fine. Tequi-la-la then."
Niko and Roman arrive at Tequi-la-la.
"Alright Niko, this one's on me!"
"Sure, sure. Did you take a loan out for that too?"
Niko and Roman enter. "Alright, let's fine somewhere to sit." The two of them find seats at the bar table.
The bartender walks up to Niko and Roman. "So, what'll it be, boys?" says the bartender, cleaning a mug.
"Pibwasser for me," says Niko.
"Premier's Bloody Mary." says Roman.
"Sorry to break it to you, but uh, that brand's not carried here anymore."
"Awwww, really? When did they pull out?" says Roman.
"About 10 years ago. Damn, you've really been under a rock, sir."
Roman, visibly defeated, replies, "Alright, alright. Generic-brand Bloody Mary."
"You calling me generic?" says the bartender.
Roman does not reply, but looks confused.
"Alright, alright.... Pibwasser for dumb, 'Generic' Bloody Mary for dumber. $15 for both drinks."
Roman extends his money out, and the bartender walks away to prepare the drinks.
"So far, so good, right cousin?" says Roman.
"Hardly. You didn't even get a drink name right." Niko chuckles.
The bartender arrives with the drinks. "Drinks for the 2 slavs."
"Yeah, yeah...." Niko and Roman take a sip of their drinks.
"Be careful man, don't get too drunk."
"Don't tell me what to do," says Niko.
"If you say so...." Niko and Roman take another sip.
"Man, this thing's fucking disgusting. No wonder they call it generic brand...."
"Uh, I think that was you who called it that. Man, you're completely out of whack tonight," Niko laughs.
"Sure, sure, and you're the one with the biggest nose in our family!" Roman retorts.
"Haha, very funny. Funny."
The two take another sip of their drinks.
"Why'd you go for Pibwasser? Don't you know that's flavored water?"
"Flavored? I never thought about it that way. What flavor do they use for it? It tastes a bit dull."
"I'll leave that for you to figure out, cousin." Roman laughs.
The two take another sip of their drinks. Roman coughs.
"Shit, man, you alright? You shouldn't be taking such huge gulps like that."
"This thing's fucking disgusting. Bartender! I want a refund!"
"Agh, here he goes again..." Niko thinks to himself.
"What do you two want?" says the bartender, disgruntled.
"This Bloody Mary is disgusting. I want my money back!"
"Too bad fatso, you drank it already. I can't offer a refund, sorry. I think you rather enjoyed it, actually."
"Fuck you! You don't know how bad this tasted! I want my fucking money back!" Roman throws the glass at the bartender.
"Do you need me to call the LSPD on your ass?"
Niko motions Roman. "Come on, let's get the fuck out, cousin!"
"Ehh, but my money! I want my fucking money back! Give me my money ba-"
A clicking sound is heard from behind.
"Do you want me to use this?" says the bartender, aiming a pistol at Roman's forehead.
"Uh......uh......don't shoot, don't shoot! Niko! Do something!"
Niko walks up to the bartender. "Hey. Put the fucking gun down, or I will finish you off."
"Was I talking to you, slav?"
"Put the fucking weapon down and let my cousin go."
"Sorry, I can't do that. Just kidding. Now please, get the hell out of here." The bartender lets go of Roman, and pushes him forcefully towards Niko.
"Fuck, let's just go. Come on, man!" says Roman, shaking.
"Come on. Get in the car." says Niko. Roman gets in.
"Why the fuck did you throw a glass at a bartender, Roman?"
"My drink tasted like shit! I wanted him to know how bad it was! I demanded a refund and he wouldn't comply! If only the manager was there..."
"You know I could have paid for tonight? But no, you had to insist. Now we almost died because of this shit."
"It wasn't our faults. The dude slipped!"
"Sure, maybe he did. But you still can't throw a glass at a fucking bartender! Anyone, really. Your mind's slipping, cousin. Is there something wrong?"
"Maybe since you've been pulling off jobs again, it's been getting to my head, you know? Fuck, can we just go home?"
"Alright, fine. Fuck, just be careful next time. That's all I ask." Niko retorts.
The two of them arrive home. "Alright, hopefully we don't die in our sleep or something," says Roman, getting out of the car.
"If we do, at least there won't be any pain."